


We’ll Get There

by Pickwick12



Series: Unstoppable Force Meet Immovable Object: The Story of Neal and El [3]
Category: White Collar (TV 2009)
Genre: Family, Found Family, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 01:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30131991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pickwick12/pseuds/Pickwick12
Summary: Sequel to my one-shot stories What Really Matters and Underneath It All (but can stand alone) about the relationship between El and Neal.One-shotStill fairly early in Peter’s & Neal’s arrangement. Neal and Elizabeth have a relationship based on El’s directness and Neal’s recognition that she always tells it like it is.  This time, they discuss what it means to be truly free and how trust means consciously letting go of control.
Series: Unstoppable Force Meet Immovable Object: The Story of Neal and El [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2220189
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	We’ll Get There

I’m a grown man, Elizabeth!”

Despite Neal sounding like anything but that, El sat down beside him on the well-worn sofa and put her hand on his tense shoulder. “Yeah, you are, so act like it.”

“You have no idea what it’s like to have this—this thing on my ankle. I feel like a child on one of those creepy leashes.”

Elizabeth was actually glad for the outburst, a break in the debonair veneer Neal tried so hard to cultivate. It meant he trusted her with the real him, at least to some extent. 

“I get it more than you think,” she said. “After all, I have a job, Neal. I’m expected to put in at least 40 hours, usually more, or else the business will fall apart. I’m married. That means I can’t just go on dates, leave for the weekend without telling my husband, do whatever I want when I want to. My life has its rules, too.”

“But you chose those rules,” Neal shot back.

“Yes, at one time,” Elizabeth answered. “That doesn’t mean there aren’t days when I want something else. But I keep going, because this is the life I want to build overall, even when I’m tired of the day-to-day. Just like that anklet is part of the freedom you’re building.”

“—-,” Neal swore. “I could get out of it, go on the run.”

“You probably could, for a while,” El agreed. “Is that what would make you feel like an adult, being back in the driver’s seat again?”

Neal gave her a wary glance. “Why do I feel like you’re about to twist the logic on me?”

“You know me pretty well by now,” she said, smiling. “If you ran now, that would be the most childish thing you’ve done since I met you, and that includes getting all the prizes out of our cereal boxes. It would be the opposite of the adult you are.”

Neal revved in neutral for a few seconds. “None of this is my choice,” he finally said.

“Adulthood is a lot less about choosing what you do than it is about choosing the kind of person you’re going to be within the hand you’re dealt,” Elizabeth said softly, still keeping her hand on his shoulder. “A long time ago, somebody sold you the lie that being an adult means doing whatever you want, without limits. I’m sorry, because you deserved better than that.”

“You’re not my mother,” Neal said, pulling away sharply, but still not getting up.

“No,” she agreed. “I’m not. But you still deserved better. I chose to commit to Peter, to give up being on my own and controlling everything in my life, because losing some freedom was more than worth gaining love. That’s a normal adult exchange, Neal. Maturity means trusting enough to give up some control when the time is right—when you’re in love, when you’re chasing success, when you’ve been offered the partnership of a man who would do anything to help you succeed. It’s scary; I get that. I’m just sorry that somewhere back there, somebody made little Neal Caffrey believe that he was the only person he would ever be able to trust. That isn’t being an adult; that’s just being alone.”

“You’re wrong,” he finally answered very softly. “I mean, you’re not wrong about how I grew up. But there is one person I trust—now. I trust Peter, Elizabeth. I mean that.”

“I believe you,” Elizabeth said. “Thank you for not lying and saying you trust me.”

Neal smiled. “You’d be able to tell.”

“You know,” he added after a while, “people don’t just teach by being around. Sometimes they teach by not being there.”

“Yeah,” El agreed, “those are usually the loudest lessons.” She didn’t pry. Neal was normally so closed off that he never even alluded to his past, and she certainly didn’t want to scare him into never doing it again.

“With Kate I—” he started again, then paused. “I love her, El, but I was always scared—that if I didn’t plan and control everything, it would all go wrong.”

Elizabeth wished he would explain, that he would tell her who had failed him so extremely and caused the pain behind his eyes. But she just listened.

“The first time I came to see you,” he continued, “I liked it here—with you and Satch—because it was so peaceful; you didn’t seem to be afraid of anything. You were in this normal suburban life, and it didn’t even scare you or make you want to run.”

“That’s right,” said El. “Peter and I love our life—not every single minute, but overall. We chose this life, with its limits and its love. I want—I wish you could have that same freedom some day by choosing a life with the limits that are worth it to you, because you’re with someone you can truly trust.”

Neal smiled, but he didn’t answer, and El had no idea what he was thinking or if she’d gotten through at all. 

“Thank you,” he said after a moment.

“What for?”

“For letting me be honest about not trusting you yet.”

“Well,” El smiled back, “honesty is a big part of trust, so I think we’ll get there.”

**Author's Note:**

> Someone pointed out on one of the previous stories in this series that Neal is unusually open, and I totally agree. This ongoing series is based on my headcanon that Neal grows to trust and love El like family because she’s such a straight shooter & that off screen (and occasionally on) she provides a different kind of wisdom from Peter that Neal desperately needs and learns to go to her for.


End file.
